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Humor / Satire
Humor #0001
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Exercise For Old-Timers Exercise For Old-Timers: A senior citizen shares his thoughts and ideas about starting an exercise program.
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. >release date: May 1, 2006
. >by: Igor Butorsky
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“My Doctor keeps urging me to start a workout program, given that fitness becomes even more essential as we age. Not wanting to overdo it as a beginner and harm this old body, I've devised the following exercise routine, listed below.”
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Monday:
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Wade through the morning paper.
Beat around the bush.
Jump to conclusions.
Climb the walls.
Throw caution to the wind.
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Tuesday:
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Drag my heels.
Push my luck.
Make mountains out of mole hills.
Hit the nail on the head.
Skate on thin ice.
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Wednesday:
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Bend over backwards.
Jump on the band wagon.
Run around in circles.
Fly off the handle.
Go on a wild goose chase.
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Thursday:
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Advise the President on how to run the country.
Toot my own horn.
Pull out all the stops.
Add fuel to the fire.
Walk on eggshells.
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Friday:
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Get the ball rolling.
Open a can of worms.
Put my foot in my mouth.
Exercise my rights.
Jog my memory.
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Saturday & Sunday:
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Pick up the pieces.
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....afterwards....
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Kneel in prayer.
Bow my head in thanksgiving.
Uplift my hands in praise.
HUG SOMEONE AND ENCOURAGE THEM.
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ENDEND
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  • Humor / Satire - Humor #0001 - May 1, 2006
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